a diet coke

i still feel uncomfortable when i hear the word diet 

i do not drink diet cola as it reminds me too much of the culture

surrounding pumping your body with anything as long as it isnt calories

i still feel uncomfortable when my friends talk about dieting

i have grown to associate diet with starving myself

and being congratulated for the weight loss

i still feel uncomfortable when i see articles about dieting 

it reminds me of when i evaporated dress sizes 

and was lost in the internet wondering why it wasn't faster

i still feel uncomfortable when someone asks me if i've tried a diet

i sometimes now struggle to eat a single meal in a day

and not worry about whether or not it counts as a relapse

i still feel uncomfortable when i think about diets

maybe one day i'll be content in the boy i live in

and i will be comfortable drinking diet cola again