i'm happy with not knowing how this story truly ends
i like to find solace in things that are indirectly how my life is going
i will ever seek help
i do not need it as much now
i think i finally am actually recovering
but i still do not want to know how it ends
i do not want to see bojack horseman get
better before i truly have
i do not want to see the characters almost
resolve their plotlines before i even
get the chance to figure out mine
maybe this was the point of the end,
to get you thinking about why you haven't
reached your final course to happiness
when the parts of you on the screen have
but i do not know where to go
recovery was there as quickly
as it left again
i cannot turn to bojack horseman
because now i know how it ends
i know the ending but not the
final journey it took to get there
i think this ending through healing
is what is keeping me alive
i know a relapse is just me
rewatching the first season
and that recovery is the
progression to season 5
i guess i am content knowing
how the story ends
if i know in the end
everything might just be alright
after 14 months i made myself finish bojack horseman
because i am barely getting through each day.
i hate knowing how my favourite things end
i usually hold onto them with dear life
but for this i finally needed to know
how it got here.
like them i wish i knew
the view from halfway down
i wish i could see where this bump in the road
was taking me towards.
i did not want bojack season 6 because i did
not want a fictional horse to get better before i did
but in truth he did not get better
and neither did i
i think i find solace in knowing that
recovery is harder than it seems
but maybe this is for the best
because maybe now i can
do the hokey pokey
and turn it all around.
